There was an exodus of people from the cars and vans and Victoria said to me under her breath “Here comes god, he thinks he is Steven Spielberg”, he was about my height and dressed in the most outrageous Hawaiian shirt I have ever seen bright green trousers and would you believe pink shoes, he had on the biggest pair of sunglasses I have ever seen and introduced himself “Hello my darlings are we all ready for some exciting sexy rubber fun?”
Victoria said “This is Doctor Latex a friend client and our legal advisor, Doctor this is Jeremy Andrews-Smith he is the director of this movie and uses most of our stuff” I held my hand out and it was shaken by Jeremy, it was like shaking hands with a warm wet fish and a very old warm wet fish at that, I did not like him from the start and that is very unusual for me I like to get to know people before I make judgement but on this occasion I was convinced, he had eyes that would not look at you straight in the eye and I do not trust people who will not look at you “Good morning Jeremy you may call me Doctor”.
He just stood there gob smacked, I don’t think anyone had ever up fronted him before and three of the models that were with the crew giggled “That’s enough of that why should I call you Doctor?” he said.
“Because little man that is what I am and in particular I am a specialist in the area of rubber and latex sex and bondage any more questions?” before he could speak a lady came over from one of the cars she was to say the least imposing, she was a good six feet six inches tall in her high heeled boots and was completely covered from head to foot in a beautiful black and red rubber suit with open faced hood and a long flowing rubber cape in gold and black latex, she looked fantastic.
“I am Mistress Gummi and from my accent you may realise that I am from Austria, may I ask you a question Doctor?” “Of course you may Mistress how may I be of assistance?” “See Jeremy you little worm some people do know how to speak correctly to others, are you the same Doctor Latex who has the website giving advice and showing pictures of your friends and guest’s?” “I am indeed Mistress are you a subscriber?” “Yes I am I love your site it is honest and you give wonderful advice particularly to novices it is an absolute pleasure to meet you at last although we have communicated before under my pseudonym ‘Rubber Renata’” she said “Good heavens Renata what a lovely surprise it is an absolute pleasure to actually meet you, you are even more beautiful than your pictures in my guest book, welcome to England” I said holding out my hand she took it and held it for what may be considered a little to long in PC circles “Thank you Doctor you are most kind, Jeremy are we to get on or are you to stand here gossiping all day?” I could hear Victoria giggling, as were some of the other girls.
Jeremy was in deep conversation with Josh and did not look to happy “I am not going to sign any such contract, this is ridiculous, I have never signed a contract before and I won’t do so now!” he said, before Jeremy could say anything I said “Jeremy you use these good people clothes suits etc and put them on your web sites or in magazines or make video’s or DVD’s would you like to tell me how many hits you get enquiring about were the gear comes from?”
“Oh it’s probably thousands but we don’t have time to reply to them we are not a huge company” I did not have a chance to speak another lady had got out of the limo, she was the exact opposite of Renata although just as tall she was covered from head to toe in highly polished black leather completely hooded and masked and carrying the biggest riding whip I have seen in a long time Renata said “Madam may I introduce Doctor Latex of web fame” she said, the lady in leather shook my hand and said “Doctor it really is a pleasure, as with Renata you probably know me by my other name, ‘Beatrice Bounce’ I also am a great fan of your site and also a member although I come from the North West of England”.
I was speechless two of the most prolific members of my guests club and here they were it was quite amazing “It’s a small world ladies and I assure you it really is a pleasure to meet you both at last even though Madam I usually see you only in heavily inflated rubber suits or bags”.
We hugged and I introduced them to Victoria and Josh and then asked what the problem was with Jeremy “Well Doctor I gave him the contract and he went mad saying that he would not give us a link on any site nor would he give us a mention in the credits of either video’s or DVD’s and that really is it” Josh explained before any one could say a word Renata spoke “Jeremy how many times have you used these good peoples facilities before?” “Well yes a few times” he said, “Exactly how many times Jeremy?” said Beatrice, “I can answer that” said Victoria “He’s used us and our facilities and had us make suits and ancillary equipment for him 37 times and all he has paid us for the gear we’ve made for him but we never get a mention and certainly never any enquiries as he first promised”.
Beatrice and Renata looked at Jeremy and Beatrice said “Jeremy come with us for a moment there’s a good little worm” they took him on one side and spoke to him he started to say something but all I heard was “Quiet Jeremy or I will let the girls loose on you” he went very quiet and for about 15 minutes they talked or should I say Beatrice and Renata spoke and he listened, they came back and Renata said “The worm has something to say to you both, don’t you worm?” “Yes Madam, Mistress” he said “It would appear that we have a misunderstanding…” he said only to be interrupted by Beatrice “Bollocks Jeremy you have been ripping these good people off for about three years now say it or, Julia get the suffocation bag out will you my dear?” “Yes Madam” said Julia a tall well built blonde “I don’t think there is any need for that Madam” said Jeremy “Then get bloody on with it or else” she said.
“I am prepared to give you £1500 for each video and DVD that we have produced so far and I will get you linked to our web site…” “Jeremy ALL YOUR WEBSITES!” “Sorry, all our websites and from now on we will pass to you any requests for information that may come through the web sites and I will accept your kind offer of £1000 per day for filming and will give you credits on all DVD’s and video’s” he said looking very down in the mouth “There now Jeremy that didn’t hurt did it isn’t it nice to be honest for a change, and to make sure that you don’t renege on any of what you have said we will not film anywhere in the UK except here from now on and you can make a contract with the pub for food and drinks and rooms and filming rights OK?” Renata said, he just nodded in acquiescence.
“Right” said Beatrice “Let’s get this show on the road shall we, girls get the gear out, Victoria did you manage to make the inflatable that this idiot ordered?” Victoria seemed to be unsure how to answer, “Just call me Renata” “Right Renata, yes we did and I can’t wait to try it myself it looks amazing and will be really uncomfortable to wear and is really heavy” she said.
“Great lets get started set up the cameras Jeremy and off we go” the cameras were set up and Jeremy got into his swing, Renata came over to me and said “He is an arsehole but I tell you he really is very, very good at what he does you may have seen some of his stuff” she said reeling of about eight or ten titles all of which I owned “Yes indeed I have and they are really very good not like some of the rubbish knocking about” “We’ll get you a copy of this one as well it should be good, I know do you want to be in it we could do with a rubber Master and you would be ideal, there are very few true rubber Masters about and most are just cruel bastards so how about it? Full credits of course and a web link” how could I refuse, and so it came to pass that over the next six days I was in a film and I can tell you never again I have never been so bored in my life it seemed to take forever to get a couple of minutes right but when we watched the final unedited version it was fantastic and I couldn’t wait to see the finished object.
We all said goodbye and Renata and Beatrice said that they would come and see me and that I had an open invitation to visit both them and there respective dungeons, all in all a bloody good week, and so I left to get ready for my diver training.